Mark Zuckerberg Testimony
April 22, 2018  //  By:   //  Features, News  //  Comments are off

A few days ago, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO and creator of Facebook (the popular social networking platform) recently had a court testimony. He has been convicted of selling the data and backgrounds of millions of Facebook users.

Mark Zuckerberg is a 33-year-old American man who fell in love with coding and computers. He made games and apps by himself as a child growing up, and yearned to learn more about the subject. He gets accepted into Harvard University and creates Facebook. Over the course of his life, he had received dozens of offers to purchase this website from him, reaching a max of 15 billion U.S. dollars, but he refused every single number. He had decided to keep it himself and see how big he could really make it, but it seems to be falling back on himself right now. He has overstepped his boundaries and he might pay the price.

Zuckerberg and Facebook could potentially be in way more trouble than they had originally anticipated. Every violation that Zuckerberg made would be a fine from the federal government, and these stacked on to one another could roughly be around $1.2 million, and that’s just for the first month. It could end up being hundreds upon hundreds of millions of dollars.

As backlash to what has been occurring with Zuckerberg and the millions of users who feel cheated and abused at his expense, he has become the laughing stock of the internet community. During his testimony, he showcased an unsettling amount of awkward body movements, seating positions, and mannerisms that seemed quite inhuman. Check any popular social media page, and you will certainly see an array of Mark Zuckerberg memes portraying him as a robot or lizard. The evidence to prove the theories that he is, indeed, not a human, has yet to be found, though the internet community is doing their best to uncover it.

Clayton Black, the 2018 Greg Siple Award winner and Senior at Bainbridge High School, gave his opinions and outlooks on the subject. “Friends… enemies… we are gathered here today to discuss the matter of the man, the myth, the extraterrestrial, Carp Suckerword. Now folks we’ve all seen the memes, and while there is evidence that Stickerboard himself is a robot lizard, that’s not what I’m going to talk about today. No. Today, we tackle Luckynerd’s ever-changing first and last name. There’s nothing more elusive than the complex algorithmic naming system on which Lord Duck-or-Bird relies. Folks this has gone on too long. The artificial intelligence has become far too powerful now that the human mind cannot even comprehend the patterns that Dark Suckaturd’s title follows. I encourage you thusly: go to your nearest grocery store or perhaps a mini-mart; find a box of tinfoil (at least 10 feet of product) and construct an anti-electromagnetic chrome dome to don you at next “social gathering”. Wake up, idiots. Your minds are wasting away and it’s all thanks to Pock Pufferfish.” There’s your weekly quote from T Black – an astounding showcase of sophisticated commentary that really puts all things into perspective. You’re not going to find a report of this caliber anywhere else.

About the Author :

Mario Vukic is a Junior at Bainbridge High School. He enjoys journalism because he likes to see what is going on in the world, and being a reporter fulfills that perfectly. More specifically, news stories from around the globe interest Mario the most because he thinks foreign countries and the relationships between them are compelling. When Mario isn’t writing articles for Spartan Standard, he enjoys hanging out with friends and playing Hearthstone. His main passion is playing soccer. His favorite holidays include July 4th and Christmas.